Who decorates your home?

Anybody ever watched the British Sitcom called ‘Keeping Up Appearances’? The main character was Hyacinth Bucket, which Hyacinth insisted was pronounced ‘bouquet’ because it sounded better than bucket. The key to her character was her excessive need to be clean, prim and proper. But she was also very house proud. Everything had to be in the right place and nothing was moved without her approval.

She was excessively polite to everyone, including her husband, Richard, and her sisters even though they embarrassed her every time they made an appearance. Richard was not afraid of her but to avoid any disagreements, he would simply do as she said because the last thing he wanted to hear was, ‘no no no, Richard Dear. That goes there.’ It was clear Richard didn’t have much of a say in what went on in the house, especially not to its interior.

But I think this is normal. Very often, it’s the women who choose the furnishings in the home. They tend to choose the sofas, the dining table, the kitchen cabinets, the lighting and the wallpaper. Even if men try to make a contribution, women often pooh pooh their ideas as being silly, because often they are silly and sometimes very flippant. I often believe that choosing the intricate details of a room layout, such as where a vase should go is time consuming because, to them, it makes very little difference to the overall feel of a room.

Women tend to find a balance between functionality and attractiveness whereas for men it’s all about functionality. I’m reminded of that episode in Friends where Joey and Chandler buy two large easy chairs which all the girls thought were horrendous and Monica didn’t want them in her flat. But the boys found it functional regardless of how it looked.

Men might not be into the look and feel of objects. They probably have difficulty distinguishing between subtle shades of colour, for example, of a sofa cover or cushions. What’s the difference between white and off white? Or Brown and taupe? Or turquoise and teal. Who knows? And this is what women look at and apparently they can tell the difference.

But often men don’t want to get involved in the nitty gritty of furnishings and decorations. To them it’s tiresome, time-consuming and boring. They just want to know what to pay and when.

But surely there is a place in the house where the husband does have a say and where his interest is peaked? I know that it’s not the living room or dining room. And I know that it’s not the bedroom. Even the bathroom is off limits. Some families in America, with big houses, do have spaces for a man-cave. It can be the basement or an attic or even a converted garage.

Here the man can do what he wants with the space because it’s his where he can watch all the sporty TV he wants. Where he can play snooker or pool or play table tennis with his buddies. It’s where he can hang whatever pictures he wants. Have any furniture he wants without it cluttering up the rest of the house. But sometimes a garage is just a garage but it’s often where men feel the most comfortable because their car or motorbike is in there and they can work on them as much as they want.

It is also a place where they choose the tools and fixtures they like so it’s a place where the wife has little or no say. In fact, it’s one of the few places in the house where the wife not only doesn’t have a say but she doesn’t want to have a say because she knows nothing about those tools.

Not all men are disinterested in the décor of their home. Some do take part in the decision making process by picking out the right fittings and fixtures and some can even tell the difference between brown and taupe.

The problem is that women don’t trust a man’s eye. If she likes something in beige, for example, I guarantee she’ll change her mind as soon as the husband agrees with her.