Relationship stress is unavoidable, but there are good ways to cope.
Judi Light Hopson, Emma H. Hopson and Ted Hagen
Most of us want to offer emotional support to other people. But, do you sometimes wonder how you’ll keep your own sanity?
For example, maybe you’re awake all night worrying about your boss’ threat to fire you. But the next morning, a close friend calls you to unload her bad medical report.
On top of this, you might get a call from your brother. He wants a loan quickly, because he needs a medical procedure and he doesn’t have insurance.
“I really was close to screaming with my own stress,” says a friend of ours we’ll call Patty, “when a ton of bricks came flying my way. Two of my adult children announced they were getting a divorce. They both wanted to know if I could help with the grandchildren!”
In our world of instant messaging, cellphones and texting, being online much of the day, we tend to pick up the bad news of those we care about rather quickly. How do we cope?
These tips can help:
Get the facts. For example, just because someone “might” get a divorce or “might have cancer” does not mean the worst-case scenario will materialize. Stay cool until you know more.
Help the other person stay calm. If your friend is unloading her misery on you, just listen. Take in the facts but don’t overreact. Remind her that staying calm is the best way to take productive steps.
Figure out the pain of other people. For example, if your boss is threatening to fire you, face up to your boss’ worries. Ask him or her for a face-to-face meeting. Say, “I’m here to listen and help figure these problems out.”
Help a stressed person find resources. For example, if your brother needs medical help and has no insurance, reach out to social agencies and hospital staff in your area. Help your brother stay centered while you calmly look for available resources.
“I’ve learned to be supportive of the other person, but I don’t have to fix their problems,” says a nurse we’ll call Charlene. “I can offer advice, phone numbers, and emotional support. But, I don’t have to let myself get dragged into drama.”
Charlene is right. None of us can actually do certain things for other people. They must take care of it.
Don’t waste your time on trying to fix problems for lazy people, either. Many people have absolutely no intention of calling anyone, signing up for an exercise class, or following the health rules required for a diabetic. Accept this.
“I am not going to suffer for the laziness that other people have,” says a medical doctor we’ll call Jim.
Jim says he gives clear advice to his patients. He writes everything down. He provides resources.
“But,” says Jim. “It’s not my calling to baby adults who want to lie back and do nothing. They keep cramming carbohydrates in their mouths and wonder why they’re fat. They keep staying in bed until noon and wonder why they can’t find time to exercise!”
Part of lowering our stress is to turn problems back over to their rightful owners. While we can help them focus, it’s often their job to manage the stress.
Tribune News Service
Unfortunately, in today’s fast paced world, stress plays a major part in most of our lives. This week we are taking a look at different types of stress, why we get stressed and how to manage it.
When it comes to managing stress, the proverb ‘variety is the spice of life’ holds true. Making small changes in your dull life can significantly ease tension.
A gene linked to unusually long lifespans in humans protects brain stem cells from the harmful effects of stress, according to a new study.
The user ordered over 8,000 plates of idlis including orders placed for friends and family, while travelling across cities like Bengaluru and Chennai.
For a rhinoplasty to be effective, it must be performed with utmost precision using expert surgical techniques. And so, the first step you should take in changing how your nose looks is to decide who the person responsible for doing so will be.
The actor and estranged royal had been accused by her relative of spreading “malicious lies” during an explosive 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey.
People from far and wide seek Bizrahmed’s rhinoplasty in Dubai to treat various problems, including sleep apnea, deviated septum, and difficulty breathing. Whether you're unhappy with the shape of your nose or suffer from breathing problems, a nose job could be the solution you're looking for.