“Our priority has always been getting children back into school which we know is crucial for their education and wellbeing. We’ll also be prioritising ways for people to reunite with loved ones safely.”
It’s unfortunate to have to do this as early as the very first sentence but just so you know, the forthcoming column is nominally a work of satire. It is my job to make fun of politicians, to point out the hypocrisy and absurdity of what they’re up to.
There is only so much contradictory information you can ask someone to absorb before they start to wonder if they are in a Joseph Heller novel. And, as both a part-time teacher and doting aunty to my sister’s four young children,
Keir Starmer resembles an armadillo. That would be my answer to the popular focus-group question: if this or that politician were an animal, what would they be? I have to be careful about this, because I don’t want to get into personal abuse.
When a politician takes a stand against public opinion it is time to sit up and pay attention. Especially when it is Rishi Sunak, the most popular politician in Britain and the most likely next prime minister
“In case you were wondering how much excess capacity Germany has,” tweeted Financial Times correspondent Joe Miller alongside a photo, “this pop-up at Nuremberg station offers FREE tests for passers-by.
Readers of a certain age may remember a former prime minister giving a misty-eyed speech referencing “old maids cycling to communion” and other similarly nostalgic totems (warm beer, cricket on the village green, you know the drill).
The breakthrough on a coronavirus vaccine is wonderful news. It is a long time since the front pages and bulletins have been dominated by something positive for two days running, with more to come.
In recent weeks, Boris Johnson’s allies began to prepare the ground for a Joe Biden presidency. They argued that, while there might be some short-term turbulence, the two men would have more in common than we might think.
In the early days of the coronavirus crisis, when I thought the government might be interested in taking it seriously and addressing it as a grown-up government should, I was in fairly regular contact with a couple of people inside No. 10 and the Cabinet Office.