Like Prince Harry, I’ve been lobster-shamed

The big reveal in the new trailer for Netflix’s With Love, Meghan — the second season of the Duchess of Sussex’s cookery and lifestyle show — is that Prince Harry won’t touch lobster.

In the clip, Meghan is seen preparing a seafood dish, in the rented California house close to her and Harry’s Montecito mansion where the TV series is filmed, when she casually mentions to José Andrés, a celebrity Spanish-American chef, and says: “You know who doesn’t like lobster?”

“Who?” says Andrés.

“My husband,” Meghan says, dropping the news like a bombshell — or a helpless crustacean into a pan of boiling water.

“And you married him?” the chef retorts, while Meghan falls about laughing. But don’t worry, Harry, you’re not alone. I, too, have been shamed for not eating lobster. Last week, during a Greek getaway, I was invited to dinner at a fancy beach restaurant in Zakynthos when a huge specimen was brought out of the tank to our seafront table, the waiter presumably thinking he’d spare us the trouble of walking to pick one ourselves. But he made a terrible faux pas.

As it tried to move its legs and claws, which had been bound tightly, my kids screamed. Our meal quickly descended into a horror show with floods of tears. As diners at nearby tables turned around to watch, I could tell they thought my children were just badly behaved. I tried to calm the kids down as the waiter retreated, sending the lobster back to the tank. My friend had wanted to order lobster for us all as a treat, but the whole episode only left a bad taste.

I’d always thought that lobsters screamed when they were boiled, which was also off-putting. However, the reality is far worse. They suffer in silence. That shrill, high-pitched sound you hear if you’re close enough to the kitchen — often mistaken for a scream — is steam escaping through pores in the shell as the organs boil.

But this was not the first time I’ve been looked down on for not eating lobster. I always feel embarrassed when I say “No, thanks” — lobster-shamed, you could say. When I politely refuse, other diners assume I’m just a picky eater — but I’m doing it on principle. My local fish shop in Notting Hill sells “Live Scottish Native Lobster” from £59, which you can take home alive, to do whatever the hell you like with, no questions asked. It’s barbaric. According to a 2023 YouGov poll, 61 per cent of the British public think it is unacceptable to cook decapod crustaceans, such as crabs and lobsters, by boiling them while they are still alive.

For Harry, it’s unclear whether his aversion to lobster is on moral grounds, or — more likely — a long-accepted family tradition: the royals usually steer clear of shellfish to avoid the possibility of food poisoning. But it’s not a hard and fast rule. Former royal chef Darren McGrady offered confirmation that the royals “do actually eat shellfish” when he shared on social media a royal menu from a 1989 banquet at Windsor Castle that shows that the late Queen dined on soufflé de homard, for starters

Whatever Harry’s reasons for not eating lobster — and, as a friend of Sir David Attenborough, he will doubtless be aware of it being a cruel culinary practice — he shouldn’t be made to feel like a misfit. In countries like Switzerland, Norway, and New Zealand, it is illegal to boil lobsters without stunning them first, usually either by an electrical shock or by chilling them in cold air or an ice slurry to minimise suffering.

In the UK, lobsters and other decapod crustaceans are now recognised as sentient beings, under the Animal Welfare (Sentience) Act 2022. The law was introduced after a report by the LSE found compelling scientific evidence of the levels of pain and distress these creatures can experience. Yet, somehow, boiling them alive remains legal.

It’s a cruelty we can no longer ignore — and we should thank Meghan for inadvertently drawing our attention to it. If one good thing comes out of her Netflix series, let it be that she has given poor crustaceans a voice.