Is Santa for Mum and Dad, or for the kids?

A senior ethics professor at Scotland’s University of St Andrew’s says that telling your children that Santa exists is wrong. It is misleading and when they do eventually find out he doesn’t actually exist there is a degree of mistrust between the parents who told the lie and the child who was told it.

 In fact, parents tell children a lot of fairytales and the existence of fairies and elves and mythical creatures to celebrate various seasons. They tell their little children that if they put their tooth under their pillow, the tooth fairy will come and replace it with a coin. Then in order to not disappoint the child the parents try to re-enforce what they told the child by discreetly putting the coin under the child’s pillow. Can you imagine what the child would think if he saw mum or dad trying to put something under their pillows? There’s also a mythical creature that goes round handing out chocolates and sweet treats to children. Furthermore, apparently it’s a talking Easter Bunny. Now, you and I know that neither the Easter Bunny nor Santa nor the Tooth Fairy, or any other type of fairy, actually exists. But as a child of under 7 or 8 years old they do.

Now, according to experts, anyone with a bit of sense in their minds will ask themselves what the purpose of Santa actually is. Does his presence, or not, make Christmas any more or less enjoyable? The purpose of Santa is meant to be handing out gifts to well behaved children, at least that’s what parents tell their small children. But what kids are looking for is toys at Christmas time, regardless of whether or not it’s this make believe character delivering them or the parents.

Parents have been telling their children about this mythical character for centuries. And when the children grow up they propagate that myth with their children and that’s how it’s so ingrained in the Christmas tradition. Parents are mortified when their children find out too early in life that all these ‘beings’ they’ve been told about were myths. But child experts believe that kids won’t be traumatised if you start telling them the truth. And even if they’re saddened by the truth, that negative reaction is likely to be short-lived because children have a short attention span and are likely to forget and move on to something new.

It’s like giving a child the toy he wanted at Christmas. He plays with it for an hour on Christmas day and then he doesn’t touch it again for the rest of the year. Don’t forget that most kids learn of Santa’s non-existence, by accident, by the age of 7 or 8 anyway. Isn’t it better to tell the truth earlier? Better still, it would be better to start instilling this in them as soon as they’re able to understand. As soon as they can understand anything. Their belief system comes from adults who think that Santa is the be-all and end-all of Christmas. That Christmas isn’t Christmas without Santa.

But many who don’t have anything in life will tell you the opposite. During the Second World War, and even before that, many parents were very poor. So poor that they didn’t have time to tell their children fairy tales. They needed their children to be strong and able to help around the house and not have their minds cluttered in mythical creatures and fairy tales. Those parents had no time to tell their children about Santa because they were so busy trying to make ends meet. But they still celebrated Christmas and made sure that their children enjoyed the food and whatever they got as gifts, no matter how small or inexpensive it was. Those children knew the gifts came from mum and dad and appreciated their parents’ efforts a lot more than children who might think Santa gave it to them for free.

But perhaps it’s the parents who need Santa more than their children do because the parents were told he existed when they were young and they can’t let go of that tradition.