If you’re walking down the street and you see someone crying their eyes out, what do you do? Do you go up to them and ask them what is wrong and whether there is anything you can do to help them, even if it means listening to them? Or do you just ignore them? Or do you not even notice that not everyone is as happy as you might be feeling at the time? I notice that there are an awful lot of people who don’t notice the adversities in life that other people may be experiencing. The saying ‘laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone’ is very true.

I think that compassion is lost in this world. Being kind is a rarity as well. Having compassion and being nice go a long way to making the world a better place to live in. If you see someone who is angry and impatient with you, whether in a lift or in a supermarket, don’t take it too personally. Rest assured it has nothing to do with you personally. It is very likely that the person is going through something quite horrid, or something unpleasant happened that morning, the night before or even that week that has them distressed and in despair.

Some people live in awful situations at home where there may not be any mental peace at any time of the day or night. Since every moment for them may be hell, they may no longer be able to control their emotions. Their cup runneth over and they may be up to their eyeballs in stress because they constantly live in a charged environment. Or something unpleasant may have happened at work. Maybe a run-in with a bullying co-worker or even an overbearing boss.

But there is also the flip side to this story. For years in England my family was a fan of a long running soap called ‘Coronation Street’ and the landlady of the local public house always had a smile on her face when she was at the bar serving customers. But at the end of the day when the public house closed and she went into the back where she lived, the smile came off and she was a complete wreck. The moral of this story? Not all smiles are real. I recently spoke to someone in a supermarket who is always smiling whenever I see him. Two weeks ago he said to me, we all have problems, ma’am. Then he told me about a horrible event that killed his father back in his home country. It was bone chilling and I don’t want to repeat it. But for those who envy anyone who, to them, looks happy and carefree all the time, don’t be. So now whenever I see him I am amazed at the man’s resilience at being able to cope with the knowledge of what happened to his father. Appearances can be deceiving. No one knows the real truth behind that smile.  

But there’s a third flip side. Yes, there are some people who might be carefree and, therefore, happy. They live day to day and let nothing and no one get to them. They don’t think about the future or the past and think only of today and what they’re going to do and how they’re going to pass the time. They obviously don’t let their minds become cluttered with thoughts of things that are out of their control.

Some might think that living like that is irresponsible. It might be but sometimes, not always, it’s better for one’s well-being to go with the flow. For those of us living in emotionally turbulent times whether at work or at home, remember that the past is gone and is, therefore, out of our control. The future has not happened yet and is, therefore, out of our control. The only control we really have is how we are going to react to what is happening at the moment it’s happening and even then we cannot guarantee that the outcome will be to our satisfaction. Plan ahead, yes. But don’t bank on the outcome. Be a little less optimistic and a little less hopeful. Then whatever you get will make you happier because it was more than you expected. And remember to be kind to people, even if they look upset or angry. A polite ‘hello’, or ‘I hope you are well’ or ‘if you need to talk’, go a long way to making someone feel cared for.