If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again. You might think that this often quoted saying is either very clichéd or the act of doing what it says is a complete waste of time.

After all, is trying just once and failing, not a good enough reason not to bother wasting more of your time on the same thing?

But when you do stop bothering, how do you feel about having done so? And how do others see you, especially those whose opinion matters to you?

There are many ways and many things that can happen that help people feel good about themselves. Examples might include passing a test or an exam, getting a degree, getting a job, getting a promotion, losing weight, paying off your mortgage, winning a project or achieving any goal you set your mind to. But is feeling good only about achieving a goal or succeeding at something? Does one have to have reached a goal or succeeded in doing something to feel really good about themselves? Most people, if not all, would say yes, that is the case.

But analysis of people’s self-satisfaction suggests otherwise.

This analysis seems to conclude that the feeling of self-satisfaction and inner peace is not just about trying something and succeeding in it. Their analysis suggests that it can also be just about having tried, even if it gets the trier nowhere.

To some extent I can relate to this. Not everyone wins everything and not everyone succeeds in everything they try. People try for a job or enter an art competition and don’t always get selected. Many people go through their lives never getting a promotion or they might get one tiny promotion after years of dedication at work.

Many people drop out of university because they could not cope with the workload and many leave school without passing their basic school exams. Does that mean that all these people feel bad about themselves?

Well, according to the analysis, maybe not. According to their findings, since the individuals concerned tried to get that job, tried to enter that competition, gave university a shot and stuck it out at school, it was enough for them to feel that they gave it their best but some things are just not meant to be.

If it were me, and it has been when it comes to applying for jobs or entering competition, I didn’t always succeed, but I always said to myself it was out of my control. When I did, I was elated. But when I didn’t, of course I was upset and very down but did it mean I felt bad about myself?

I didn’t feel bad about myself. I felt bad for myself (which isn’t the same thing). Plus I was able to tell myself that I tried my best. In terms of other people’s opinions of me, even to this day, no one is ever able to blame me for not trying.

A friend once actually said to me, ‘I must say one thing about you; you’re a trier’.’ Am I satisfied with the way things have turned out? No. But there are some things that are under other people’s control.

Now, many people go through life never having been to university and many more never finished school. Many just don’t try to do anything with their lives.

If an opportunity to try something presents itself, there are many who don’t even give it a shot. They have failed themselves even before they’ve given themselves a chance to fail. The chances are that these people are afraid of rejection, afraid of failing and they’ve already concluded that they are not going to succeed.

Other people might look at this thought process as negative but realistic but are these people satisfied with themselves? Probably not but not because they didn’t give it a shot.

These people have resigned themselves to never being able to achieve anything or even bothering to try. I too have a realistic thought process (many people have called me negative too). But I think it’s to cushion the disappointment from having tried and not succeeding.

Nevertheless, for me, trying is uppermost in my goals because I wouldn’t want people to think I didn’t even bother and, more importantly, I don’t wish to go through life thinking I didn’t even try because who knows…