Here’s a funny thought.

I am sure we all dislike having to wear masks despite many people insisting that they do not find them uncomfortable, that they do not find them hard to breathe under and that, since March 2020, they haven’t caught a cold or flu because of the mask. You know what, after hearing things like that the only thought that runs through my mind is, methinks the person doth protest too much!

Then a couple of weeks ago I got to thinking that maybe, just maybe, wearing a mask can have its teeny tiny, infinitesimal advantages. In other words they’re not significant advantages but something on which to amuse ourselves as we wear the mask.

Be careful what word you coin because, years later, it might come back on you. Around ten years ago Tyra Banks, the British supermodel, coined the word ‘smize’. It’s a portmanteau of two different words, ‘smile’ and ‘eyes’. She said that there is a way we can smile with just our eyes. Apparently models need to do it all the time and I suppose now we must too since our most important feature used to smile, our mouths, is now hidden behind a mask.

I read somewhere that an employer reprimanded his employees for not smizing enough and told them to practise doing so before they went in front of customers. But if you think about it, isn’t smizing a given? Don’t you think that if you genuinely smile behind a mask it will definitely show in your eyes? If an employee doesn’t appear to be smizing, it’s probably more to do with the employer, or even the fatigue brought on from constantly wearing a mask, than the employee. I’ve chatted to loads of shop staff who have told me they feel positively unwell because of having to wear masks for 8 -12 hours straight, which is a normal shift for shop staff. Solve those problems and the lack of smizing goes away.

But that being said, I realised a couple of weeks ago that there are quite a few things you can do behind the mask that no one will ever notice. And these things can make you feel better because you get a chance to let it out.

For one thing, it might be an idea to practisesmizing, that way you don’t actually have to force yourself to smile and just let your eyes do the talking. Practisesmizing with your eyes so that you can be sad if you need to be. But be careful not to look like you’re squinting.

Since March of last year, I’m sure that a lot of ladies have decided not to bother wearing makeup below the eyes when they go out. No foundation, no powder and definitely no lipstick. I mean, who wants their masks to be makeup stained all day anyway? But I do wonder if some ladies have gone overboard about the lack of facial grooming because of the masks and decided to forego the epilation above the lip and, in some cases, below. Maybe now it’s all about the eyes? But if they’re wearing sunglasses then maybe it’s a bare-faced world? If you are one of these ladies, good for you. So, don a headscarf, dark glasses and your mask and you are completely unrecognisable. It might help if you don’t want to be seen in public but need to go out. Plus you can poke your tongue out, talk to yourself, purse your lips in anger, mouth profanities and eat and chew. After all, we can’t really see what’s going on behind the mask.

Think of it this way, if you have a cold sore, don’t worry, you have the mask, if your skin is in bad shape, don’t worry, you have the mask. If you’re getting wrinkles, don’t worry you have the mask. If your lip filler went very wrong, don’t worry, you have the mask. If you’ve had an allergic reaction to the new face cream, don’t worry, you have the mask, unless it’s because of the mask!

I suppose we must now think of it this way: that every mask has a silver lining. Well…it doesn’t actually have a silver lining…but you get my drift…