Picture used for illustrative purpose only. TNS

Gulf Today, Staff Reporter

Parenting is one of the most rewarding, yet difficult, jobs in this world. It is no secret that to live a healthy and happy life, you need to identify your destructive habits and replace them with productive ones; the same is true for parenting. As humans, parents are bound to make mistakes no matter how conscientious they are. And while there is no parenting manual as such, experts agree that there are some common mistakes that should be avoided.

Putting your marriage last

A husband and wife are a team, and should remain so even after they have kids. It may sound contradictory but a husband and wife do a much better job of raising children than do dad and mum.

Explaining yourself to your kids

This common blunder is why so many children argue and give explanations for their wrongdoings. Explanations sets the assumption that a parent and child are peers and that the parent’s authority in any given situation is open to negotiation. Sometimes it’s best to say, “Because I said so,” and move on.

Getting down to child’s level

This subservient gesture, also known as the “sycophant squat,” communicates to a child that you are pleading. Even the tone then tends to match the body language and the command comes out as more of a request.

Using meaningless consequences, for example, time-outs

Time-outs are meaningless. Sending the child to sit into a chair for five minutes because the child didn’t listen to the parent! Wow! A better punishment is taking their favourite toy away or cancelling TV time.

Striving for blissful relationship with your child

A parent’s job is to provide leadership as opposed to friendship. When relationship is the priority, effective leadership is impossible. Because leaders must be willing to make unpopular decisions.

Causing children to develop Vitamin N deficiency

The less you say “no” to your kids, the more likely they are to ignore you when you do. The word “no” is essential to the development of emotional resilience, which is widely recognised as key to good mental health. It also builds strong character, which builds strong communities.

Ending what parents think are instructions to their children with the question, “OK?”

Children do not obey people who sound unsure. When that is the case, the instruction is no longer an instruction; rather, it is a suggestion and a suggestion that is open to argumentation. Children obey people who look and act confident in their authority.

Giving children lots of choices

The more choices we have as adults, the more stressed we feel. Do you think that might apply to children as well? Children do not know what they truly need; they only know what they want; therefore, their choices are generally bad. They don’t need practice making decisions; they need parents who make good decisions for them. Eventually, if said parents stay the course, their children will figure it out and thank them for it.