Many of Tina Knowles’ fondest childhood memories are of sitting under a pecan tree as her mother recited the history of their family, stretching back generations. Now, the mother of Beyoncé and Solange has given her own story to the world with “Matriarch: A Memoir,” out this week.
“Beyoncé and Solange have been busy since they were little kids working, and Kelly (Rowland). ... I’ve told them stories, but I don’t even know if they really listened,” said the 71-year-old Knowles. “When you’re young, it’s very few people that want to hear those stories about old times.”
At 59, Knowles began recording voice notes of that history — adding in her contributions — after contemplating her mortality following her divorce from Mathew Knowles after a three-decade marriage. The recordings were meant only for her grandkids and future great-grandchildren, before eventually becoming book’s foundation.
The 432-page Oprah’s Book Club selection explores a vast range of topics, including her enslaved great-grandmothers, her entrepreneurial spirit, the Houston childhoods of Beyoncé and Solange, her infidelity-plagued first marriage, Destiny’s Child’s struggle to get a record deal, and the blatant racism her family experienced navigating a segregated United States. (She was once allowed to briefly sit in the front of a whites-only bus as a child, disguised by her fair skin tone.)
But you won’t find juicy details from the protective mother; there’s no mention of the infamous 2014 Met Gala elevator incident between Jay-Z and Solange, or of Kanye West taking the mic from Taylor Swift at the 2009 MTV VMAs in his attempted defence of Beyoncé. This is Celestine Beyoncé’s story — not her children’s — still intriguing and very personal, revealing she was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer last year. She had initially left it out of the book.
“I just wanted to keep it to myself ... as I went through that process of getting the surgery and all of that, there were things that I felt that I needed to share,” said Knowles, who is now cancer-free after surgery and treatment, and urges women to make mammogram appointments and get second opinions.
Knowles, who next month will launch a nine-city book tour that will include conversations with famous friends like former first lady Michelle Obama and Tyler Perry (she also hints at “family” joining her at some stops), spoke with The Associated Press about receiving due credit, regrets as a parent and finding happiness.
Some may have thought of you as only Destiny’s Child’s stylist or Beyoncé’s mom. Is there a desire to get due credit?
I gave a lot of people credit for things — and I’m fine with that — but this is all about my truth. I definitely feel like I was a driving force, and I can say that now without feeling like — I was taught as a kid to just be super humble and to not ever brag. ... I think I’ve dimmed my light for so long, I don’t want to do it anymore.
There are events involving Beyoncé or Solange that you barely mentioned — if you mentioned them at all — like the reasons surrounding Destiny’s Child’s breakup. Why exclude your perspective?
I don’t think that’s important, because from that time, everyone has flourished and just moved on from that. And I just choose to focus on the positives in life. ... I don’t feel like it’s a need to harp on those things. I don’t want to talk about them.
In highlighting the differences between Solange and Beyoncé, you describe how Solange loved school and craved structure, and you weren’t always able to provide that as Destiny’s Child began to take off. Why be so vulnerable with your parenting mishaps? (Solange, not wanting to travel or leave friends, eventually stayed with a family friend for a period of time for consistency.)
Solange has been a speaker of truth since she was little ... she was the one that was in my case all the time. ’Cause she’s like, “Mom, you’re just so irresponsible when it comes to school.” I just felt like that was healing for me to talk about it. Because people think ... you’re trying to be the perfect mother, and definitely, I was screwing up just like everybody else. And so, I was really wanting to be honest about my shortcomings.
Why did you mention the importance of teachers, negatively affecting your own confidence attending Catholic school, as well their impact on your daughters?
Some of them can be detrimental, and I go into detail about that because I realize that a teacher telling me that Beyoncé was slow in kindergarten and that she needs to repeat the grade and it’s December — that woman could have messed up my child’s life.
We wouldn’t even have a Beyoncé today if I had listened to her. You gotta fight for your kids. I hope that lesson came through loud and clear. ... That was important to me because I see a lot of parents that don’t, and my mom didn’t protect me.
Have Beyoncé and Solange read the book yet?
By the time I finished the book and I was ready to share it with them, both of them were on these really crazy schedules and I just didn’t want them to feel, “Oh, I got to stop and go read a book.” So, I sent them all of their parts and they approved the parts.
Did they asked you to cut anything after they read their parts?
No. They were in agreement with everything.
What do you hope readers will take away from “Matriarch”?
Your life, whatever it is, cannot just center around everyone else but you. And it took me a long time — I had to be 59 years old before I realized I deserve to be happy. And I deserve to have the things that I deserve, and not feel bad about it, not feel guilty about it. I’m going to live my life — live my best life, as the kids say.
Associated Press