How to safeguard your relationships during lockdown

Whether you and your spouse are working from home, or have children who need to be entertained, it is only natural that either you or they will get in the other’s space, hence annoying them.

Divorce lawyers have already predicted a spike in split rates this year due to isolation. So how can you ensure that your relationship survives this time period? Here are some tips to follow:

Don’t make assumptions about how the other person feels

The coronavirus is unprecedented, not only on a societal level but for your relationship – you may have dealt with testing times before but this is likely to be a new experience. The key is not to assume the other person will feel the same way about everything you’re going through.

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Assumptions breed resentments as they lay down false expectations. The antithesis to assumptions are clear and open dialogues so avoid mind reading. None of us have experienced this before so we will all cope with this differently and that’s okay.

Keep communicating

With so much going on and tensions running high, it can be hard to keep an open dialogue — especially if you’re feeling scared or upset. This heightened anxiety may create strong negative emotional reactions; anger or frustration. When experiencing these emotions try and stay mindful of your responses. If you’re struggling with your anxiety and how you respond, the best thing you can do is communicate.

Giving yourself time or telling your loved ones you’re struggling and that you may react uncharacteristically. Of course this doesn’t justify being cruel but helps ease the possibility of reacting in a way that you might regret and add to stress.

Accept these circumstances are going to be testing

Understand that with the best will in the world, rows are quite likely in these circumstances. It’s how you deal with them that counts. If you tend to argue or bicker then accept that you may transfer that onto what you each think about the virus. You may want to know as much as possible about the situation whereas your partner may prefer to take each day as it comes. Remember that there are many different ways of coping in stressful situations and your way isn’t the only way.

Try to put big arguments on hold

Although it is normal to expect some tension during this ongoing situation, you shouldn’t use it as a chance to vent all of your ongoing relationship issues, some things will need to be parked. Choose your battles and weigh up if they are worth it at this time.

Ensure you aren’t just working all the time

If you and your partner are struggling to manage working from home and your relationship then try to establish clearer ‘home life’ and ‘work life’ from now on. It can be hard at the beginning to separate the two and this can have a detrimental impact.

Find shared interests or activities to do together so that you have something to share that isn’t just housework, like a new Netflix series.